Archive for December 2009




week 1,. day 3. training tomorrow

Christmas is upon us. I am faced with so many tasks to be done. Funny how we are motivated to do what we think we are obligated to do yet we fail to do those things we should be obligated to do. Like keeping our bodies healthy. Yes, Christmas is important. But which is more important giving people things that they may never really appreciate and can be done later or exercising and eating properly to maintain a physical body that under the wrong circumstances can fail to sustain the human spirit with in. I’m guilty of caring for everyone else and everything else before taking care of the body that allows me to do things first. This year is the year I succeed in 2010 and that requires my taking care of myself properly.
Today, I didn’t go for the walk that I should have gone on, I ate one time today and I drank no water all in the name of last minute Christmas shopping. The consequences, dehydration and chapped lips, dry hands, achy muscles that really could have used a walk, and a very happy boyfriend who got one of his presents early. LOL!
So I ate around 6pm, I barely had anything to drink today. Work was so busy with all the last minute Christmas shoppers coming through my store for nicotine to calm their nerves or alcohol to wash away the financial trouble they would wake up to in the morning or both. And though I was hungry when I arrived home I maintained myself I had some popcorn. Tomorrow I start the second session of week 1 5k training. note to self, find a 5k race to look forward to.
So in the end, the moral of the story is it’s a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation. Just do the best you can with what you got. However, the victory for the day would be that though I was hungry today while doing all of my shopping I was very tempted to do drive through Sonic Burgers and I didn’t I just didn’t eat anything at all. So once again, damned if you do, damned if you don’t. I wonder which would be worse, my eating empty calories at Sonic or the fact that I didn’t eat till 6pm. Merry Christmas.

Comments Off on week 1,. day 3. training tomorrow December 24, 2009

Week1, Day2, & 2lbs heavier! WTH!

Yesterday I started the training for the 5K. My BF got me out of bed but, I didn’t give too much resistance. Weighed myself in the morning and I weighed 220.8. Weighed myself this morning and I’m 222.4! Ugh! that’s disgusting. Anyway, it’s probably just water weight. However, yesterdays eating habit weren’t the greatest either. I did drink water though. bout 4 (8oz) glasses. Yay! Victory. Yesterday, I ate scrambled eggs, 2 small croissant, and 4 little Smokey sausages with cheese in them. Then I went to work and for dinner had a hot dog complete with white bun and no mayo just mustard. But later on I got hungry again so I had another hot dog complete with white bun and this time I had mayo on it. I know, I know, but I could have had both of them with mayo but I didn’t. So then I cam home round midnight from work, starving. And Martin’s parents had brought over baked goods. Chocolate chip cookie baked goods. So guess what I had for a midnight snack. About 6 cookies and a cup of milk. no wonder I’m a cow this morning. I am however a little bit sore this morning from my jog yesterday. But I won’t let that stop me. I’m going for a walk this morning.

Comments Off on Week1, Day2, & 2lbs heavier! WTH! December 23, 2009

Week1, Day1, Right?

Well, yesterday morning I woke up with a cold, not feeling well at all. Soooo, I took some cold medicine when I got home last night. The night time stuff. Yeah, couldn’t wake up this morning slept to till 2pm today so for a total of 13 hours sleep. WOW! is right! And of course when I woke up I was starving and we had to go out anyway to finish the very wonderful Christmas shopping. So, we got up and went to Apple bee’s I had the riblet basket (my fave) not the greatest of weight watchers ideas but i was starving and I figured I hadn’t eaten all day anyway so I had some calories to work with. I ate half the fries they gave me. But after we were done with the shopping we went to my BF’s dad’s house. UMMMM, yeah, I ate quite a few chocolate chip cookies with a bit of milk. I had a Starbucks tall peppermint latte and yeah, not such a great day. But anyway, I’m alive. And I didn’t do the training like I was supposed to for the 5k. So in all I did drink some water today, diet sucked and NO training. alarm set for 9am and I’m going training in the morning if it kills me. And it probably will.

Comments Off on Week1, Day1, Right? December 22, 2009

Another Bad Night!

Ok! so I had a pretty uneventful day for the most part. My sleep schedule still messed up but I will get the hang of it eventually. Until I do that I’m just not sure that getting my exercise schedule in full swing is going to be possible. Let alone my eating schedule. Any dietitian I’ve ever spoken to or any trainer I’ve ever had conversation with says that eating and exercise must go hand in hand. Is this true? Well apparently it is. So I went to sleep round 4 am this morning and my BF came home round 8 am. We went back to bed in preparation for a party we were supposed to go to in the evening. We woke up around 2pm I made Martin something to eat. I was hungry so I ate nothing. We went to into town to Wal-Mart to get some stuff for the party and some stuff for the house and a little bit of Christmas shopping stuff for my kids. Long story short, we bought a lot of crap with no nutritional value and we didn’t go to the party. We didn’t buy anything to cook for dinner so we wound up going out to eat but at 6p I ate 6 Ritz crackers with peanut butter and jelly on them and 4 of those little smokey sausages you know the one’s with the cheese in them. MMM! They were so good. And so bad for me at the same time. Anyway, round 8p were both starving. So where do we go? Chompers! That’s where we go! Chompers! I get gator tail and fried okra. I know, I know! I may as well have had a double cheeseburger with bacon. Trust me, the thought ran through my mind. Several times in fact. Even after I had placed my order with the lady at the drive through window. O! Did I mention, I totally went to the drive through window in my pajamas. Yes, I did! I went there! LOL! Anyway, after dinner my BF decided to start a fire, and it was so cozy and warm we decided to sit by the fire for a while. But that was good enough LOL! We turned it into a date complete with some of the junk we bought from the store. I’m talking S’mores! But another victory for me! I only ate one of them. Not the three my BF intended me to eat. I substituted the others with a cup of coffee to compliment my very happy single serving of S’more. So I did well. However, still have a bad sleeping schedule. Heck its 3:12am here and I’m wide awake. That’s bad, very bad. And my eating habits and exercise habits are not much for admiration these days. However, I did complete my kids Christmas shopping for the most part and their Wii is on the way in the mail.

Comments Off on Another Bad Night! December 21, 2009

O NO! Not Smores!

Ok! so I had a pretty uneventful day for the most part. My sleep schedule still messed up but I will get the hang of it eventually. Until I do that I’m just not sure that getting my exercise schedule in full swing is going to be possible. Let alone my eating schedule. Any dietitian I’ve ever spoken to or any trainer I’ve ever had conversation with says that eating and exercise must go hand in hand. Is this true? Well apparently it is. So I went to sleep round 4 am this morning and my BF came home round 8 am. We went back to bed in preparation for a party we were supposed to go to in the evening. We woke up around 2pm I made Martin something to eat. I was hungry so I ate nothing. We went to into town to Wal-Mart to get some stuff for the party and some stuff for the house and a little bit of Christmas shopping stuff for my kids. Long story short, we bought a lot of crap with no nutritional value and we didn’t go to the party. We didn’t buy anything to cook for dinner so we wound up going out to eat but at 6p I ate 6 Ritz crackers with peanut butter and jelly on them and 4 of those little smokey sausages you know the one’s with the cheese in them. MMM! They were so good. And so bad for me at the same time. Anyway, round 8p were both starving. So where do we go? Chompers! That’s where we go! Chompers! I get gator tail and fried okra. I know, I know! I may as well have had a double cheeseburger with bacon. Trust me, the thought ran through my mind. Several times in fact. Even after I had placed my order with the lady at the drive through window. O! Did I mention, I totally went to the drive through window in my pajamas. Yes, I did! I went there! LOL! Anyway, after dinner my BF decided to start a fire, and it was so cozy and warm we decided to sit by the fire for a while. But that was good enough LOL! We turned it into a date complete with some of the junk we bought from the store. I’m talking S’mores! But another victory for me! I only ate one of them. Not the three my BF intended me to eat. I substituted the others with a cup of coffee to compliment my very happy single serving of S’more. So I did well. However, still have a bad sleeping schedule. Heck its 3:12am here and I’m wide awake. That’s bad, very bad. And my eating habits and exercise habits are not much for admiration these days. However, I did complete my kids Christmas shopping for the most part and their Wii is on the way in the mail.

Comments Off on O NO! Not Smores! December 20, 2009

Another awesome day in the neighborhood

Ok! So I stayed up all night last night. Not a great idea LOL. Didnt spend much time with Martin because of my out of wack sleep schedule. Woke to go to work and the fun begins. Martin brings home Chinese food for lunch. Another bad idea but it was so good and over all it took me a couple of hours to eat the serving big enough for three people. Anyway, I ate that in my underclothes because while I was up all last night, I didn’t see the importance of washing the laundry that had been piling up for days. Another bad idea. So it’s time to throw my clothes on and run out the door. Martin the sweet man that he is gets up and gathers my things for me so all I have to do is get in the truck and drive away. I get to work and life is well. I give my boss a hard time. That’s a good idea. LOL! It’s his fault, he makes it so darn easy to do. Then I get this really great idea that I’m going to buy a Santa hat I had been eye balling for a while now. I buy it, and not even two hours later a customer begs it off my head for $15 making in a return a $5 profit for myself. A great idea. So later on I get the munchies. I’m not even going to lie. I had two sausage dogs equipped with buns and mayo. I know, I know a really bad idea. But I can’t take it back now. So later after that, I get the munchies again. I know, I know! I bought those candy fruit slices made of nothing but sugar, food color and gelatin to hold the sugar together. And I am not even gonna lie to you. They were good. As a matter of fact they were great. And though I didn’t eat the whole bag, I came darn near close. And then, my friend Mike a Hungry Howie’s pizza delivery guy delivers a very unexpected pizza to my Kangaroo counter and says, “Here ya go, it’s yours and Megan’s to share and it’s free.” OMG! What’s a girl to do. This thing was beautiful. It had extra cheese, sausage, bacon and ham on it and the crust a wonderfully golden pan crust with garlic butter on it. O my I think I might cry. But, pizza is a weakness for me. So I did what any girl in a life changing experience would do. I ate one piece and wrapped the other half of my pizza up and warmed it for my boyfriend when I got home. So there, success. I know, I know, I ate two sausage dogs and I wasn’t even hungry. I know, I know, I ate almost a whole bag of really great colored gelatin. What was I thinking? Honestly, I wasn’t. I was just working and munching. But I had a victory today. I ate only one slice of pizza, I made a $5 profit and I made a whole lot of people smile today. That’s a good feeling. So we try harder tomorrow. Right?

Comments Off on Another awesome day in the neighborhood December 19, 2009

Back on the wagon again.

So, this is it.  In 29 days I will be 30 years old and still weighing 220 lbs.  Something I did not want to add to my list of accomplishments if you know what I mean.  But anyway, it is what it is.  I know, I know I’m beautiful inside and out.  I know, I know, I have great potential to do whatever I want.  But until you’ve been in the shoes of Tiffani Lissane Renfroe you don’t really know.  It’s the same for me.  Unless I’ve been in your shoes, I don’t really know.  And I’m just as guilty as everyone else.  I try to make others feel better about their negative self image and feed them the same crap they feed me.  “You’re beautiful.  You can do anything you put your mind to.”  Blah, blah, blah. In the end, no matter who you are, whatever they say to you, it doesn’t really matter.  Because in the end, what matters is what you, yourself believe.  So unless I believe I can accomplish these things of weight loss, overcoming fears, becoming the woman I’ve always dreamed of being, it will never happen.

However, lucky for me another year is approaching.  Not only another year of life, but a whole new year to explore my life.  The new things that have been added to this precious breath I’ve been given.  But also to get back what has been taken from me.  Which I believe is a good portion of why I make excuses for my weight gain.  But no more.  I have to take responsibility for my actions right down to the motion of my elbow in the direction of my mouth.  How do I plan on obtaining success in this matter at hand, you say.  Well I will tell you.  But not today.  Follow along with me and you will see.  Who knows maybe along the way we’ll both learn something about ourselves and or about each other.  So for now, good night.  But it is 2:50 in the morning so I have begun my day already.  My sleep as been a bit much these days and of what schedule I have for sleep it’s a bit sporadic.   LOL! bare with me at times for my spelling isn’t the greatest of things.

Game plan for today.  Take it one minute at a time.   Don’t overwhelm myself trying to figure out what it is I will consume today.  Eat only when I am hungry but don’t allow my hunger to over take my common sense.  Drink water, lots of it (guilty of not doing at all in the last week or so b.t.w.) and be happy.  Don’t let the devil steel my joy today.  God is great, and my life is a blessing from God.

3 comments December 18, 2009

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